14. i had no clue.

Saturday night I wrote out the post for Sunday.  I had no clue that as I was writing it the words would become even more true to me than they already were.  I didn’t know that as I was writing about things looking dark and it being hard to see hope, that that very scenario was unfolding in my life.  Yet again. 

As I wrote those words, my Grandfather was going through something awful, and my Granny had her last moments alive and alert on this earth.  Y’all, I can’t even tell you how much I love my Granny.  I can’t even tell you how close we are and how proud of her I am and how she’s one of my favorite people.  To lose my baby in May and not even six months later lose my Granny is crushing.  Truth be told – I don’t get it.  I don’t know why this has to happen. 

My family is going through very, very hard moments right now.  My Grandfather losing the love of his life.  My dad and his sister and brother losing their mother.  My grandparents were up on the farm when my Granny had a massive stroke.  She was somewhere she loves, and I am thankful for that.  My parents and their siblings have gone to be with my Granny in her last moments.  Please pray for my Granny as she was taken off of life support yesterday.  Pray that her final moments in this life will be peaceful and full of God’s comfort and love.  Please pray for my Grandfather – for strength, support, comfort, and peace.  Please pray for my parents and my aunts and uncle as they say goodbye. 


There are few women on this earth like my Granny.  I have many words to share about her.  And I will.  But now I truly am so grateful for your prayers.  We feel knocked down and defeated.  It’s been a rough year for our whole family.  So many lies want to creep into my mind now.  But I have to cling to the Truth.  I have to cling to the promises of God.  And know that even when we are knocked down – really really hard and really really down, He is still good.  And I must remember words I wrote only days ago… 


Because maybe hope isn’t about not having any big waves knock you down, but instead, is about surrendering to the big waves, trusting that God will use it for His glory.  Trusting that He has us in his hands.  Having faith that what we hope for will one day come to be.  And sitting securely in His embrace while the water washes over us…  And we’re all going to get knocked down, beat up, and even feel stuck underwater thinking we can’t possibly survive this.  But we do…  and if we just surrender to the big waves and trust that God has us, we just might come out having seen something beautiful and learned more about ourselves than we ever could have.


picnic with granny

our last picnic with Granny

5 thoughts on “14. i had no clue.

  1. Oh my dear Lauren! I loved your granny, too! She was a bright spot in my life and in our church. She will be sorely missed by all! My granny was one of my favorite people, too.
    Love you so much! Doris

  2. Pingback: 31 days of hope. | adventures of jack and me

  3. Lauren, I am so very sorry to hear this news about your Granny. Will continue to pray for you and all the family in the days ahead. God has been, and will continue to be, your strength at this difficult time. Love you! Dawn

  4. Dearest Lauren,
    Please accept our deepest sympathy and love as you mourn the loss of your beloved Granny. Praying for you and all of your loved ones as you pass through this traumatic time. May The Lord flood your hearts and minds with all the beautiful moments you shared with her. May He carry you gently in His arms. We love you…

    Sue and Gordy

  5. Pingback: 31. wrapping up 31 days of hope. | adventures of jack and me

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