To all of you who love and support me by coming here and reading this little blog, thank you. I am so thankful for you. Without you I would just be a crazy person writing to myself. This time last year I could have never imagined what the next year would be like for this blog. I never thought it would reach as many people as it has. Thank you all for passing my blog along to others, especially those who are hurting, grieving, and losing loved ones. So very thankful for you, dear friends.
Today is my hardest Thanksgiving. I miss our Gabriel. I wish he was here to celebrate his first Thanksgiving. I wish I wasn’t able to help cook as much because I had my hands full with a special needs baby. Tommy and I talked about it and today, we wish our story was different. But even as I say that, deep in my heart I know I love our story and I wouldn’t want to lose all I’ve learned this year and how I’ve grown. But mostly I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant changing anything about our G.
I know I have much to be thankful for. And I am thankful for many things. I am thankful for my family and friends. I am especially thankful for Jack. What a blessing it is to have this little guy in our lives – he brings so much joy. And I’m so very thankful for Gabriel – he changed our lives and changed us forever.
But the truth is that today is a hard day. And my heart isn’t overflowing with thankfulness. I know I have much to be thankful for, but my lips aren’t quick to speak of it. I am more just “doing it” today – going through the day like a usual Thanksgiving, except that it isn’t usual at all. I miss Gabriel, and all throughout this day I wish he was here. I also see my Granny everywhere around me. It’s hard to have Thanksgiving without her. This year is just different. And I know so many of you know that feeling, of experiencing Thanksgiving without someone so special to you.
Today I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving! My prayer for you is that you find a way to be thankful – whether it’s out of an overflowing and thankful heart or whether it’s an act of faith. I spent some time this morning praying for those having a hard day – for so many different reasons. And please know that I am saying prayers of thanksgiving for all of you.