Last year was the rainiest year Knoxville has seen since the 1800s. It rained all the time. I talked about rain a lot, because it rained for more than a week straight after we found out Gabriel had T18. It would rain on most of the days I had OB appointments. Rain was a constant in our lives, and it represented how I felt really well. 2013 was a rainy year both physically and symbolically for us.
Now we sit here in the year 2014. It is a new year. We continue to grieve for our sweet G. We miss him. I wish he was here – Jack would love having a brother to play with. There are many moments where I think that Gabriel should be here with us. But the truth of the matter is that he isn’t. And while it is impossibly hard, we are not defeated because we have hope. We are anchored in hope. We trust that we will one day be reunited with our sweet G. That we will know him well then. And we trust that he is presently with our Father – being cradled and loved lavishly – so much more than we could ever do or imagine. And knowing those things, thinking about those things reminds me of snow.
There is nothing more pure, more new, more fresh than snow. Watching the snow fall, watching it build and lay is a blessing for us. To watch it fall from the sky and create beauty that is rarely seen on earth, is a special gift for us here. Waking up in the morning to a fresh snow fall – one that is undisturbed and entirely peaceful is such a reminder to me that God makes all things new. So with these recent snowfalls we have had, I am reminded of this about our Father. And I am even more deeply stirred to think about how He has made our Gabriel new. He has made him pure as snow. And one day, He will do the same for us.
It’s only fitting that this winter we have seen much more snow than usual for Knoxville. While this time last year, all we got was rain, this year we seem to be sitting under snow. A visual example of where we are in our lives. In a season of awe appreciating God’s graciousness, His blessing, and His healing and new creation of our son who was so sick on this earth.