This week is beautiful here in East Tennessee. Beyond beautiful. We’re talking 60 degrees, even 70 yesterday. I went by the cemetery today before I picked Jack up from preschool. It was a perfect day to go. The warm weather, mixed with sunshine and partly cloudy skies, with an incredibly strong and present breeze made for an amazing visit.
I like to drive through the cemetery with my windows down. I open the sunroof and roll the windows down, and usually turn my music up really loud. I’m pretty sure I would have found that inappropriate before – and I do try to be respectful if other people are around and turn down the music – but for me, that’s just part of how I do it. There is something about feeling the fresh air in the cemetery and listening loudly to music praising God and exclaiming His truths that makes it part of how I grieve – how I handle visiting the cemetery as much as I do.
Today was a perfect day to make that drive. As I drove in and around and up the hill to Babyland, where our sweet G is buried, I took in the beauty of the day and the anticipation of this visit. I visit a lot, so it’s not like it’s a big deal for me to go. But today something seemed a little different. Because I was short on time I left the car running and just hopped out quickly. My current very favorite song for our lives was playing and was at the perfect point. I could hear the music as I felt the incredible presence of the wind around me. And as I stood with my feet over where my baby’s body is buried, my eyes closed, and my hands out, I sang along to this song. To this exclamation of truth. And proclaimed it in our hearts and in our lives. And as I stood there soaking in this incredible moment, feeling the intense presence of God in the strong gusts of wind, I became very aware that I was standing on holy ground. This plot that belongs to us. This patch of dirt. This marker that marks where our son’s earthly body lay to rest. All of those things I had known of this place became the background to the very holy ground I was standing on.
I was suddenly reminded of the Holiness of our God. Of His power. Of His presence. And how He is God over all – the big and the little. As big as life and death. And as little as growing the grass around this grave plot. I was blessed with a holy encounter with our Father today. One that commanded reverance. One that reminded me of His power and His presence. One that I am thankful the Lord allowed me to be a part of. And one that brought my mama heart deep comfort in knowing that my baby is intimately known by our Creator, just as I am.
The song is Anchor by Hillsong. And it is unbelievable.