when you only see the imperfections.

I look around my house and all I see is this awful color on the wall.  I notice every mark on the wall.  Every spot on the carpet.  I notice every scratch on each baseboard and those few spots where the crown molding doesn’t meet perfectly.  I notice the scratch on the sink.  The worn floor in the kitchen.  I notice how Jack’s room needs something else but I’m not sure what.  I notice how my bathroom is missing something fun, something special. 

When I look in the mirror I see that my glasses make my left eye bigger than my right.  I see the scar on my lip from where I got hit with a softball and my lip got stuck to my braces.  I notice how my hips are quite wide these days, forgetting that it’s because I’ve birthed 2 children. 

 

It’s easy to see the imperfections.  It’s easy to get caught up in the negativities of life, missing the beauty.  And I have certainly been stuck there.  Believing lies of all that is wrong, things we don’t have, and how this is not enough – how I am not enough. 

 

And those are just that – lies.  We are so blessed.  God has been faithful to us.  We are still here.  I have an amazing, loving husband and two precious boys!  One who I get to raise here and one in Heaven with our Father.  We live in this amazing city.  We have a beautiful home.  My husband has a good job.  I get to spend my days with my sweet JT.  All of these blessings and so many more.  But I tend to quickly forget those things.  These important things that I should always be thankful for, I tend to overlook.  And instead I look at things that don’t matter, things I can’t control, or things that have no eternal significance.  I don’t want my focus to be there.  I want a thankful heart.  One that is overflowing with thankfulness for this life.  And the beauty of it is that I can control what I focus on.  I can shift my thinking and re-focus on what matters. 

As I stood washing dishes in my sink thinking about all of the things I would change, I realized all of this.  There will always be imperfections in life, but I’m choosing to see past those and just see the beauty. 

Family Pictures Fall 2013 006

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