I look around my house and all I see is this awful color on the wall. I notice every mark on the wall. Every spot on the carpet. I notice every scratch on each baseboard and those few spots where the crown molding doesn’t meet perfectly. I notice the scratch on the sink. The worn floor in the kitchen. I notice how Jack’s room needs something else but I’m not sure what. I notice how my bathroom is missing something fun, something special.
When I look in the mirror I see that my glasses make my left eye bigger than my right. I see the scar on my lip from where I got hit with a softball and my lip got stuck to my braces. I notice how my hips are quite wide these days, forgetting that it’s because I’ve birthed 2 children.
It’s easy to see the imperfections. It’s easy to get caught up in the negativities of life, missing the beauty. And I have certainly been stuck there. Believing lies of all that is wrong, things we don’t have, and how this is not enough – how I am not enough.
And those are just that – lies. We are so blessed. God has been faithful to us. We are still here. I have an amazing, loving husband and two precious boys! One who I get to raise here and one in Heaven with our Father. We live in this amazing city. We have a beautiful home. My husband has a good job. I get to spend my days with my sweet JT. All of these blessings and so many more. But I tend to quickly forget those things. These important things that I should always be thankful for, I tend to overlook. And instead I look at things that don’t matter, things I can’t control, or things that have no eternal significance. I don’t want my focus to be there. I want a thankful heart. One that is overflowing with thankfulness for this life. And the beauty of it is that I can control what I focus on. I can shift my thinking and re-focus on what matters.
As I stood washing dishes in my sink thinking about all of the things I would change, I realized all of this. There will always be imperfections in life, but I’m choosing to see past those and just see the beauty.