pretty things.


 porch flowers   

Beautiful flowers my friend, Becca, left on my front porch in the morning on November 5th – six months after our Gabriel passed away. 




happy cards


 grave flowers 

Beautiful things my sister, Lindsay, left at Gabriel’s grave on Nov 5th. 





Sweet picture left by my friend, Amy, on Gabriel’s grave on Nov 5th. 







Beautiful bracelet handmade by our pediatrician’s wife and given to me by them. 




I’m swimming in beauty over here, reminding me that I am loved, my baby is loved, and helping me celebrate our G every day. 


latest happenings.

This month is flying by!  I still can’t believe it’s November, and it’s already 1/3 of the way through the month. 


Yesterday Jack and I got to go to lunch with my Grandfather.  We had a special Veteran’s Day lunch with him and then dinner at his house last night. 


 Veterans day

My favorite Veteran 




Last week was a blur.  Jack had hand, foot, and mouth disease, and it was rough.  Very little sleeping, a lot of crying, and no eating and minimal drinking.  He had some dehydration issues, but thankfully we were able to get him to drink just enough until he was feeling better.  Now I have hand, foot, and mouth, but it’s not nearly as bad as Jack’s was.  Poor boy had blisters all over the place, but his mouth was the worst!  So thankful he is so much better! 


Three weeks ago Jack was around some irritants to his asthma and had a bad asthma attack.  He needed oral steroids to help improve his lungs, and our pediatrician started him on an inhaled maintenance steroid – which we have been talking about doing for awhile and now know we definitely need to do.  Hopefully it will help to keep him from having these bad asthma spells.  He was having trouble getting oxygen in, and I didn’t even realize how bad it was.  I felt terrible.  But he is ok, and our pediatrician is fantastic at taking care of him and reassuring me. 


Other than the sickness, we are just moving quickly through the fall.  Jack is loving preschool, and he and I are both crazy about his teachers!  We ran into one of his preschool teachers from last year at Target over the weekend – it was so nice to see her again.  We have been so blessed that Jack has had 4 amazing preschool teachers!  These women have taught him [and me] so much, encouraged him [and me], and loved on him when we leave him in their care. 


I am really enjoying the time I have while he is at preschool.  I had decided not to send him this year.  When I had thought about it last winter when everyone registers, I thought it would be good for him to be there so I could have some time with our new baby.  But after we lost Gabriel, I didn’t think I could send him.  And it didn’t feel right, too.  I am so thankful for a precious woman who talked to me and encouraged me to take this time.  I’m also so thankful for her heart to bless us by sending our toddler to preschool, and so thankful for all of those who helped make it happen.  I still can’t believe it, and we feel so undeserving, but are so very thankful for that gift.  It has been really nice to have that time and be able to rest, work on some things, and heal.  Really thankful for this sweet gift. 



That’s about all that’s going on around here.  That and that it is freezing today!  I’m going to go dig out our winter clothes now.  We definitely need them now.  Hope your week is off to a nice start! 

21. remembered.

Back in August I had a new word pop into my head.  Remembered.  I think God had been telling me something.  I felt that He wanted  me to know, He wants to remind me that I am remembered.  That we are not forgotten.  When you’re hurting it’s easy to feel forgotten.  And while I didn’t necessarily feel forgotten, or think I was forgotten, because we were surrounded with love and amazing people blessing us in so many ways.  But through a series of things – mostly people in our lives blessing us, God has shown that he remembers the broken hearted. 


And since August the remembered message has stuck and been pounded in.  Being remembered brings hope.  There is a light, a joyful thing, and a hopeful thing in being remembered. 


It’s why we live in community – to be built up and encouraged by those around us when we need it.  And likewise to build up and encourage those who need it when they are down.  We have had amazing people in our lives blessing us over and over.  We have had food brought to us again and again, beautiful life-giving tree planted, gift cards, many words of encouragement in cards, letters, emails, and social media, friends bringing groceries, gifts honoring and remembering our Gabriel.  People calling and listening, people loving and supporting.  The gift of people in our lives to lift us up is an amazing blessing.  One that I know has helped to get us through the worst days of our lives. 


It’s been such an encouragement to us, and I find myself reminded to do the same for others.  To support them and love on them.  Thank you to all of you who have done that for us.  We are so very grateful.  Thank you for being a picture of hope on earth. 

random wednesday.

Several random thoughts running together for today’s post.  So much randomness.

First — my is Parenthood.  I’ve been hooked since the beginning.  I’ve seen every episode multiple times.  You know how people say things like this so that you know that they like the show more than anyone else and are a super fan?  Yes, that’s why I’m saying this.  I’m hardcore.

So back to this new season.  Oh my.  Last night’s episode brought tears again.  EVERY WEEK, I tell ya.  Here’s what I love about the show.  It’s real.  People aren’t just happy living dreamy, tv lives.  It’s real.  It’s hard.  It’s joyful.  It’s got conflict, resolution and all in between.  People talk over each other like crazy.  It’s real.

If any of you are fans here are  my questions—  did you cry last night?  Isn’t the Julia/Victor relationship shaping up beautifully?  But the bigger, looming question — How can this be?  I feel like Christina is my best friend and I’m in shock that this is happening.  Anyone else?  Am I crazy?

B.  Ever been really sure about something and then realize it’s not the perfect plan you came up with?  Besides that happening often, it really smacked me hard in the face this week.

#3.  Tonight felt like FALL Y’ALL.  I recently wrote about my fall is coming excitement showing my new fall door decoration.  Tonight I’m a step further to my fall excitement.  We played outside for an awesome while tonight enjoying the amazing weather.  Think COOL, breezy, and slightly chilly.  That’s right.  Hello low of 48!

#4.  Little man and I had a sweet, sweet day together.  Most days are sweet but this one was especially so.  When Jack was a newborn we would be up and down throughout the night and as the typical day started out I would do all I could to just stay above water.  But around 4 pm each day, I would realize that the day was winding down and so was my time with him for that day.  I would treasure those evening hours, trying to get each moment out of them.  Then as I laid him down to sleep at night, I would thank him and God for such a sweet day, and be caught up in a moment of both intense joy and a slight saddened tug on my heart that I had to say goodnight to him.  Even though I knew I’d see him in 2-3 hours.  That’s newborn love.

Last night one of those moments caught me by surprise.  Jack’s still so sweet, but with a toddler those moments are more few and far between than they used to be.  Tommy was working late, so there was no evening diversion for Jack.  [He loves seein his daddy in the evenings for some serious play and love time].  Jack was especially tired, so we headed outside for some fun.  Somewhere in between there and bathtime, pjs, stories, and bedtime that moment of intense joy and a saddened heart returned.  I am blessed by that.

So here are my thoughts to leave you with today:

I hope the weather is just as beautiful where you are.

Please tell me someone else is hooked on Parenthood, too??  And by hooked, I mean sitting on the couch, compulsively rewinding over and over, shoving cookies in your mouth, and crying.  Just me?