happy valentine’s day.

Happy Valentine’s Day dear friends!  I hope today is full of joy and love for you and your loved ones.  We were supposed to have a fun little party over here this morning so the kids could have some V-day fun.  But I am not feeling well, so we had to cancel.  I hate that we aren’t having fun decorating cookies and making fun cards now but am super thankful for precious friends.  When I texted to cancel this morning, I had so many friends offer to bring me something to help me feel better.  We are so blessed!

 

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happy valentines 2014 Happy Valentine’s from our little family of 4!

 

 

Last year we were celebrating Valentines with our sweet little baby G around.

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Last years post is here.

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a broken heart.

One year ago, with Valentine’s Day looming and the worst news of our life a few weeks behind us, all I could focus on was the heart.  People were decorating with hearts all around, living this normal life, and all I could think of was that my baby had a broken heart – literally.  This child growing inside of me had a heart that was a terrible kind of broken – one that couldn’t be fixed.  And it was every where.  And it was always on my mind. 

 

This year looks different.  I see hearts all around this year and I remember our sweet baby G.  And I also see hope.  Our sweet G has a healed heart now.  He has been made whole and he no longer has a broken heart.  This year I even find myself putting up hearts, wanting to celebrate this day.  It’s amazing the difference when you don’t have a broken heart anymore.  And while my heart might just always be a little bit broken because I lost a child, I can also see the hope that comes with healing.  The hope that comes when you’ve celebrated hard days, held on tight, and are maybe just a little bit better for it.  The hope that comes when you see some more joy alongside the pain.  The hope that sits on each little construction paper heart – because you know each one of those represents something greater – love. 

 

As I reflect on a lot of heart issues of my own this week, I am reminded of my brokenness, my broken heart, but also just how much I have been healed.  Thankful for a week of reminders and the blessing of seeing healing in our lives. 

 

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valentines day.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day, full of sweetness and love.  I’ve never been big into Valentine’s Day but there are some things about the day that I love.  I’ve always  loved getting loved on by my parents.  Special gift bags from them — I remember years where mom picked out pjs for us and one year Dad got me and my sister some awesome heart earrings.  I still like getting a little something from them even though I’m grown.  And now I get goodies from my in-laws, too.

 

I appreciate the reminder to spend the day loving on others.  We tried to spread a little love with some homemade cards, courtesy of Jack.  I’m finding all of these little holidays are more fun now with Jack around.  The kid is great fun and it’s really exciting just to celebrate with him and watch him discover this world.

 

So I loved on my love-bug all day, and that was the best.  We also decided to celebrate yesterday as Gabriel’s first Valentine’s Day.  Since we may not get to celebrate that milestone with him next year, we made sure to mark it this year.

 

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And I’m sure he enjoyed the chocolate covered strawberries just as much as I did.

 

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I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about hearts.  Everyone talks about hearts and heart day and yada yada yada.  Every one of those mentions reminded me that our baby boy has a broken heart.  And the thing about it that hurt, is that’s not his biggest problem.  You would think a severe heart defect that a pediatric cardiologist rates as an 8 out of 10, where 10 is irreparable, would be the biggest concern.  But it’s not for us.  It’s just one issue, and probably not the one that will get him.  My heart hurt for all trisomy 18 families, and their pain and loss.  And while I mostly think of Valentine’s Day as a corny little day, it’s sometimes corny little days that make you hurt realizing you don’t get to spend them with your special someones.

 

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My gift from Tommy yesterday was a little shopping trip to the maternity store.  It’s the first time I’ve shopped for maternity clothes with this pregnancy.  I have a lot of stuff from when I was pregnant with Jack, and since my due dates are the exact same day I have no issues with seasons.  But there were a couple of things I was in need of, and I think Tommy’s line of thinking was that he wants this to still be special and celebrated.  We will still buy the clothes, do the nursery, get a few things for Baby Gabriel.  We will enjoy this pregnancy.  We will celebrate it and him.  And those are declarations we make, really as much for ourselves as anything else.  Sometimes I need reminding, and he did a great job of reminding me yesterday.  And it was fun to look around the store, especially since Tommy was chasing Jack everywhere, and think about our baby.

 

 

So we had a good day.  It was really fun, and I got to spend it with my favorite boys.  I think I’m coming around to this holiday.